Agony of Life
by Guinevere on Aug.19, 2010, under emotions, Missing Lancelot
Life has a way to show itself in so many ways. It seems that when you at your most uplifted state, something has to come and bring you down.
Today is a day that I feel this way. I feel the agony all around me. I feel sorrow. I feel pain.
I feel like I am on a path that branched off . I suddenly took the wrong path without realizing it. Once I started this path, something didn’t feel right. It felt wrong to even look at it. The air feels so stale. The smell is detestable.
My energy slowly dies. I feel the love running out of my heart. I start to bleed all over my body as if I were stabbed millions of times over and over. My skin became rough. My mind is irrational. I feel a sense of pain thats within and spikes slowly shows its way out. You can see where the spikes are slowly coming out of my skin and blood starts to drop.
I know that this feeling is not normal. I know that I have to get out of this path as I am not used to it. I slowly turn around to get off it. It knows that I want out. It try’s so hard to pull me back in, but I know that if I stay, I will not make it. I know that even though it is draining my energy and the love pours everywhere, I have faith that I will stay with at least a drop of whats being drained.
I know that a drop will go a long way to help refill this all.
I have memories of my past. I have memories of the wounds. I have memories of what needs to be faded and diminished. I know that if I have made it this far, I will be able to make my way out of this path.
The Past
by Guinevere on Aug.16, 2010, under emotions
Past is something that needs to be let go. You weigh yourself down from not closing this. Why sit and dwell on things when the focus needs to be elsewhere,like creating your future. We think by creating pitty within ourselves, will make us feel some kind of relief. In reality its a relief of nothing.
When letting go of the past, you let go of so much more than ever imagine. Just think, being able to create positive affirmations would help you grow within so many ways. Why sit there feeling down when you can utilize your valuable time to heal YOU?
Bottom line here is that if you utilize more of what you want and believe, all is possible. STOP being negative.
Let go of the past, let it heal within you and start a new beginning!
You are special, you deserve the best. Remember, you can become the best!
Helpless emotions within
by Guinevere on Aug.15, 2010, under emotions
Sometimes we go through changes in our lives and within our minds. We try to grasp at different things around us instead of within us. It tends to make us feel hopelessness, sad, or confusion. We then feel a void within us. We try to fill it with different things we find around us. If we find something, it tends to feel good until it departs from us.
At times we feel as if there is no way out of our situation or we feel like we should end our lives or disappear. Trust me, I have had these feelings too and it is not a fulfilling one either. I know I had to sit in a quiet place and start to delegate a plan or solution. One that will help me be a better me without the negatives within my plan. This often helps to make my feelings better, more concrete.
I lay down just thinking about all the aspects of things. It is very easy to create an easy way out. It may be lying or being deceiving in some way, but then it never makes you feel good. Once you start a plan of being honest , assuring the highest and greatest good for you and the situation, it makes you feel better and it will create a stronger and better you. I never said being honest is easy but it makes things easier in the long run.
Emotions within seems to be helpless at times. Time goes by and its like an eternity of nothing. A complete black hole resides within, you feel as if there is no way out. You try to climb out of the hole and you feel your legs sinking in the blackness of it. Your fingers hurt because you grasp so hard to get out and you feel so helpless. Anything that is around you, you feel vulnerable and helpless. You try so hard to lift yourself out and little by little it works until you feel your legs being pulled back in. Until you have determination and you are determined 100%, that is when will overpowers the black hole.
I have been here in this black hole, plenty of times. Until I was able to gain inner power and inner strength, I would still be there today. I will not lie, at times I feel as if this black hole is following me, waiting for the time that it sees me week to get right back under me. It is not an easy task, however it starts by you loving you. No one else can help you with this. They cannot fill the void completely until you help yourself in its entirety.
Emotions happen through your thoughts. If we all convert our thoughts to a positive, we can change our emotions.
Be blessed!
Such a wonderful feeling!
by Guinevere on Aug.13, 2010, under Love letters for Lancelot
When my lips touch yours, it is so soft but warm. Your lips talk to mine. It runs like liquid that lay on my lips and continue to sink into my skin. I can feel the deep connection that it has.
When you detach your lips from mine, I still feel the warmness of your lips. I can feel the tingly sensations that it left behind.
I then feel my lips becoming numb. The numbness starts to run into my skin all over my face.
I feel a cool sensation that feels vibrant and alive. I then look into the mirror and see a glow on my face. I see the love you have ingrained into me. I smile only to know that you are within me.
Passing you up would have been the worse thing I could have ever done.
I look within my soul, I see you there.
I look within my heart, I see you there.
I look within my mind, I see you there.
I look within my dreams, I see you there.
You are all around me. I feel in complete bliss.
I am so happy that I said “Yes”.
I used to have fears. Fears that you would one day get up and decide I am not the one for you.
I fear no more.
I see the true love you have for me through your eyes, actions and emotions.
I thank the Universe that you are with me.
I thank the Universe that you believe in me.
I thank the Universe for all of you.
You are astonishing.
Not only are you vibrant and breathtaking within my eyes, but you are extraordinary in all ways possible!
I love you Lancelot !!
Loving you is like…..
by Guinevere on Aug.12, 2010, under Love letters for Lancelot
I miss you when you are not with me. It is like having to wait for a vacation that is merely a week away, It feels like an eternity.
Did you ever think that you could ever have someone love you the way I love you?
I am sure that you may have thought of someone loving you, but have you thought of the immense love I hold for you?
When I am with you, it is like no one else exists in this world but you and me.
If only you knew how much I really love you, the love itself would fill the entire world, overflowing into the universe. It then overflows into the galaxies and into all the planets around and beyond us.
Can you honestly grasp how much I love you?
Does the amount of love I have for you scare you?
I never loved this way.
I never truly felt what love really was or what it truly signifies.
All I know is that my love for you is something everlasting. Something that very few people could relate.
I am sure of what I want and what I need and this my dear is YOU!
I give you my heart so that you may nurture it, love it and keep it safe.
I want you to fill it with your love so that I can feel the love you have for me every second of the day.
I want you to keep it away from harm, but love it as if it were your own.
The day you gave me yours, I never locked it up. I simply took it and placed it in the empty spot of where mine used to reside. Now I have you with me every second of the day, just loving it as it were my child.
I promise you, that my love could never run out, as it is vast.
I love you!
EMINEM
by Guinevere on Jul.21, 2010, under emotions, Misc, Self Motivation
My kids love Eminem.
I started to listen to his new music from the new album that he just released and let me tell you that listening to his music was such an inspiration. He not only raps/sings, he does it from the core of his heart and soul. You can really relate to his pain and the topic his songs are about. It is something that you think about and consume. Something that you can feel and have emotional sorrow over facts in life.
He has grown into something really real and awesome.
When listening to the music and his lyrics, I decided to feature him today in my blog because he is such a loving person with so much hurt. He has taken his lyrics to the next level and it is extraordinary.
I was able to relate to his soul while mine connected to his music. It was really outstanding to be able to connect through the soul into someones heart and energy that he has placed because it was like I knew him personally. I could feel his hurt, pain and disappointment through his relationships, friends and family that have hurt him in the past. He has had a lot of fake people in his life. The magnificant thing is that he did not let anyone crush his dream nor him. He became a better person by letting go and starting a new beginning, a new life.
People are so quick to judge and to speculate. In reality, he needs someone to nurture, love and care for him for who he is, not what he has or become to his status. I believe that he has a lot to offer and I don’t mean material. I mean that he has a lot to offer a woman that both can respect each other, love each other and comprehend one another. He deserves that and much more. He had such a rough life. He is going through so much anguish and pain. I am sure he has a lot of people that say they can understand his pain and try to provide him with great confidence however, I am not sure how much they really understand him.
I believe that he is the all time “Real” rapper out there that truly cares. He may not know truly all the beauty he truly holds.
I do desire him to prosper and be able to find his soul-mate or twin flame that will make him the happiest man around. He deserves that as well as she does too. I believe that he needs to continue to search his happiness within himself just yet. Once his emotions are complete and he is at peace with himself and all around him, he will then realize what a wonderful person he truly is.
I felt the need to express this because, honestly, he is an awesome person. Even though he went through a lot, he had to go through his experience so that he can become a stronger person. He was able to learn from his decisions and through his experience.
If I had the opportunity to meet him in person, the first thing I would love to do is to give him a hug . I would whisper in his ear how awesome of a person he is. I would pat him on the back and say, “You are on the right journey and I am proud of you!”
Keep up the good work and remember Eminem,( if you happen to read my blog) that you are a truly amazing person. You will find what you are so much seaking for. Know to do what feels right in your heart. If loving someone that hurts you too much makes you feel this way, this is not true love. True love is never mistaken and does not hurt. You never should settle but become very picky in what you want in a woman, it will put you in the right path and you will meet her and love her unconditionally, remarkably forever.
A New Beginning
by Guinevere on Jul.20, 2010, under emotions, Misc, Self Motivation
A New Beginning is what we all need. We all desire a new beginning at one point in our lives.
One that will make everything better however it may be confusing at first.
I know that my path has changed and it is on a new journey. One that is fulfilled and enlightened through-out. One that will change my social circle, family and myself. This path will only be prosperous to me. This is my new path. I have the strength and power to let go of all negative attachments. Provide only positive energy around me at all times.
A new beginning is something that I desire, something that is long over due.
We all have changes in our lives. No matter what they may be. We desire these changes in such a positive way. Remember that Karma is a big factor and whatever we place within the Universe, it will come back three folds. Basically if you provide only positiveness around you and to the people in and out of your life, you will only have positive experiences within your life 3x better. If you are negative, you only attract negativity 3x deeper than what you have put out originally.
When things do not feel right, then it is time for a change. No matter what the situation may be, you need to reorganize the situation in your mind.
You must think what it is that you want out of life. Create a list of factors that you desire. You will see that you will become overly excited over the things that you do want. Be determined. Change all bad habits and friends that are not of the highest and greatest good. If someone in your life drains your energy, either remove them or distant yourself from them. Habits that make you feel down and upset with yourself, replace them with something even better.
Do yourself a favor and do what makes YOU happy. Do not depend on other people with your emotions, you are setting yourself up for self destruction, disaster. No one should handle your emotions.
A new beginning is something we all need several times in our lives.. Nothing wrong with it, it just makes a stronger YOU!!
Be blessed!
Delightful Pain
by Guinevere on Jul.19, 2010, under emotions, Misc
Sometimes the pain can be overwhelming in life, but some pain can be delightful.
Creations of life is what we allow in our life.
When we think about pain, we automatically think of sorrow. This is something that we need to see as a learning experience with all that happens. When the rough decides to cross our paths, we need to consume the learning of the issue. We need to embrace what we needed to learn from it. It makes our lives more interesting because we then realize if this is a situation we want to keep in our minds for a constant reminder or it may be something you never want to remember again.
Life is full of changes. This is something that is guaranteed. There is no way around it. It seems like when you want to explore other territories you are so scared because it is something unknown. You tend to stay in the “Safe Zone” of what you know. The funny thing is, is that we are all bored and not happy with the situation, yet we decide to deal with it and make ourselves miserable.
We need to change our mind sets into something that we want. Lets not settle.. Lets become what we want to be and become determined to what we want in life.. Sometimes a new beginning is something that we all need. Something that needs to be done so that we can prosper in all ways needed. At times we think that there is no way out of a situation. Sit and delegate on the situation, you will see better and you will learn from it.. The answer will come to you. Trust me, I have done it so many times that my situation had a better solution to the outcome that it ended up a lot better than what I had expected.
Pain can be delightful when the experience you see in it shows you a lesson much needed for you. This will make you much wiser and such a better “You”. Delightful Pain is a beautiful learning experience in life!
Grasping life
by Guinevere on Jul.05, 2010, under Love letters for Lancelot
As I grasp life with you. It tends to be amazing.
Amazing because we breathe at the same speed. We love with the same strength. We have the same desires.
It seems that we think at the same speed on the same wave length.
Grasping life is so beautiful with you. It is a ray of life and us grasping it together in our hands while smiling at one another.
We are one. We belong together, we are whole.
When you and I are together we are lighting that bolts down to the ground that shakes the earth something fierce.
Loving you is what keeps me going.
Loving you is what keeps my soul living.
Loving you is what makes life more interesting.
Loving you is what makes me happy.
I see your blue eyes in the morning.
I see you smiling at me, always whispering to me the words “I love you”.
Grasping life with you is what takes me into everlasting bliss.
Having a desire of you
by Guinevere on Jun.29, 2010, under Love letters for Lancelot
I desire you.
I want to devour you.
I want to absorb you.
I want you to soak within me.
I want to vanish within you.
I want to compress myself within you.
I want my energy to dissolve within you.
I want you to drip entirely within me.
You are the nutrition my body needs to maintain nourishment.
I know that I am the same for you.
I Love you!
You came Just in time for me.
Thank you Lancelot..
