Searching Lancelot

My kids love Eminem.

I started to listen to his new music from the new album that he just released and let me tell you that listening to his music was such an inspiration. He not only raps/sings, he does it from the core of his heart and soul. You can really relate to his pain and the topic his songs are about. It is something that you think about and consume. Something that you can feel and have emotional sorrow over facts in life.

He has grown into something really real and awesome.

When listening to the music and his lyrics, I decided to feature him today in my blog because he is such a loving person with so much hurt. He has taken his lyrics to the next level and it is extraordinary.

I was able to relate to his soul while mine connected to his music. It was really outstanding to be able to connect through the soul into someones heart and energy that he has placed because it was like I knew him personally. I could feel his hurt, pain and disappointment through his relationships, friends and family that have hurt him in the past. He has had a lot of fake people in his life. The magnificant thing is that he did not let anyone crush his dream nor him. He became a better person by letting go and starting a new beginning, a new life.

People are so quick to judge and to speculate. In reality, he needs someone to nurture, love and care for him for who he is, not what he has or become to his status. I believe that he has a lot to offer and I don’t mean material. I mean that he has a lot to offer a woman that both can respect each other, love each other and comprehend one another. He deserves that and much more. He had such a rough life. He is going through so much anguish and pain. I am sure he has a lot of people that say they can understand his pain and try to provide him with great confidence however, I am not sure how much they really understand him.

I believe that he is the all time “Real” rapper out there that truly cares. He may not know truly all the beauty he truly holds.

I do desire him to prosper and be able to find his soul-mate or twin flame that will make him the happiest man around. He deserves that as well as she does too. I believe that he needs to continue to search his happiness within himself just yet. Once his emotions are complete and he is at peace with himself and all around him, he will then realize what a wonderful person he truly is.

I felt the need to express this because, honestly, he is an awesome person. Even though he went through a lot, he had to go through his experience so that he can become a stronger person. He was able to learn from his decisions and through his experience.

If I had the opportunity to meet him in person, the first thing I would love to do is to give him a hug . I would whisper in his ear how awesome of a person he is. I would pat him on the back and say, “You are on the right journey and I am proud of you!”

Keep up the good work and remember Eminem,( if you happen to read my blog) that you are a truly amazing person. You will find what you are so much seaking for. Know to do what feels right in your heart. If loving someone that hurts you too much makes you feel this way, this is not true love. True love is never mistaken and does not hurt. You never should settle but become very picky in what you want in a woman, it will put you in the right path and you will meet her and love her unconditionally, remarkably  forever.

A New Beginning is what we all need. We all desire a new beginning at one point in our lives.

One that will make everything better however it may be confusing at first.

I know that my path has changed and it is on a new journey. One that is fulfilled and enlightened through-out. One that will change my social circle, family and myself. This path will only be prosperous to me. This is my new path. I have the strength and power to let go of all negative attachments. Provide only positive energy around me at all times.

A new beginning is something that I desire, something that is long over due.

We all have changes in our lives. No matter what they may be. We desire these changes in such a positive way. Remember that Karma is a big factor and whatever we place within the Universe, it will come back three folds. Basically if you provide only positiveness around you and to the people in and out of your life, you will only have positive experiences within your life 3x better. If you are negative, you only attract negativity 3x deeper than what you have put out originally.

When things do not feel right, then it is time for a change. No matter what the situation may be, you need to reorganize the situation in your mind.

You must think what it is that you want out of life. Create a list of factors that you desire. You will see that you will become overly excited over the things that you do want. Be determined. Change all bad habits and friends that are not of the highest and greatest good. If someone in your life drains your energy, either remove them or distant yourself from them. Habits that make you feel down and upset with yourself, replace them with something even better.

Do yourself a favor and do what makes YOU happy. Do not depend on other people with your emotions, you are setting yourself up for self destruction, disaster. No one should handle your emotions.

A new beginning is something we all need several times in our lives.. Nothing wrong with it, it just makes a stronger YOU!!

Be blessed!

Sometimes the pain can be overwhelming in life, but some pain can be delightful.

Creations of life is what we allow in our life.

When we think about pain, we automatically think of sorrow. This is something that we need to see as a learning experience with all that happens. When the rough  decides to cross our paths, we need to consume the learning of the issue. We need to embrace what we needed to learn from it. It makes our lives more interesting because we then realize if this is a situation we want to keep in our minds for a constant reminder or it may be something you never want to remember again.

Life is full of changes. This is something that is guaranteed. There is no way around it. It seems like when you want to explore other territories you are so scared because it is something unknown. You tend to stay in the “Safe Zone” of what you know. The funny thing is, is that we are all bored and not happy with the situation, yet we decide to deal with it and make ourselves miserable.

We need to change our mind sets into something that we want. Lets not settle.. Lets become what we want to be and become determined to what we want in life.. Sometimes a new beginning is something that we all need. Something that needs to be done so that we can prosper in all ways needed. At times we think that there is no way out of a situation. Sit and delegate on the situation, you will see better and you will learn from it.. The answer will come to you. Trust me, I have done it so many times that my situation had a better solution to the outcome that it ended up a lot better than what I had expected.

Pain can be delightful when the experience you see in it shows you a lesson much needed for you. This will make you much wiser and such a better “You”. Delightful Pain is a beautiful learning experience in life!

My dreams are filled with you.

My thoughts are filled with you.

You are embedded in my mind.

I wonder if you are feeling the same as I?

I sometimes wonder if you feel the same way I do.

I sometimes wonder if you want the same as I do.

I sometimes wonder what you would do after you completely know me.

I sometimes wonder if you would ever leave me.

I sometimes wonder if you would get overwhelmed with my busy life.

I sometimes wonder if you really know what you are getting yourself into.

I sometimes wonder if my emotional state in life will ever tire you.

Did you know that what we have not everyone will be able to feel the bliss we feel?

Did you know that we are the envy of many?

Did you know that we WILL be together forever?

Did you know that you will always fill my heart and No ONE else would fit in it?

Did you know that you are what I have ever wanted?

Did you  know that we were made for each other and no one could ever take this away from us?

You are a part of me and I am a part of you. You have been in my dreams and in my soul.

I am thankful to the Universe that you stepped out of my dreams and became my reality!

I love you with all my heart and with the core of my soul!

The love of a Twin Flame is much more than a love of a Soul-mate.

Twin Flames are rare and when united, it is much more than bliss. It is a sense of love, healing and its Peaceful. This kind of union is stronger than the union of Soul-mates.

Twin Flames are union from the core of the soul. One so unique you cannot mistake it for anything other than an overwhelming feeling of an outburst within your soul. You only want to have pure intentions with this person. You feel that respect, clarity, honesty and most importantly integrity in your relationship. This is what you will feel to be the most important thing you want within your relationship.

A reunion of these flames is a feeling that you cannot bare, one so powerful that the intensity of the love is a little over baring but one that you want to continue to feel over and over again.

This is a feeling that you can distinct from all of your past relationships.

Things you desire from your twin flame are things you have never desired before. You will have a restless feeling within yourself about the desires you are wanting from your twin flame. You will ask yourself ,”How it is possible that you have all these desires and want it badly from your twin flame”. It will become an addiction but a healthy one. This addiction you will both feel. You will both feel no limits to your love. You will be pure with NO jealousy, Lots of patience, and a peaceful journey of your new venture.

Twins have similarities. Everything just feels so right. You feel that anything and everything is possible. You will be in eternal bliss.

You will not be forced into loving but it will come naturally. You will love the past errors of your twin flame. You may have come into contact with people that had past errors in their life that you would never want to involve yourself with. Things that you would not want into your exsistance, however if your twin flame had the same circumstances and instances as those that you had frowned upon, you would not care. You would appreciate and love their trials and errors because you want to learn from their past mistakes..

Example- If you see someone eat a rotten cheesecake. That person asks you if you want to try a piece. You answer “No”. But if your twin flame ate a rotten piece of cheesecake and they offer you some to acquire the taste, you will naturally say “Yes”. Then you will start to think and realize that you would never have done such acts with anyone else or you find yourself denying what was offered from someone in the past and you accepting from your twin. You would want to experience what your twin is experiencing so that you can learn and grow together. You will surprise yourself how natural and accepting things will come to you as it would not with anyone else. It feels right and it all falls into place. This is what a love of Twin Flame feels and how it needs to be! The Universe will have everything come together and everything WILL be perfect.

Twin flames are two souls that once placed together and become as one, it is an outburst of energy. The energy is so strong that you can manifest anything and everything without anything being impossible. You are a strong force. Once united it will be extremely difficult to separate as they were destined to be together.

You will feel no doubt, you will know they are the one. However depending on what your past relationships were, you might feel frightened if united a little earlier than expected. You will feel an energy that you will like. One that will bring you together regardless. You may feel very confused as you are not healed from your past broken hearts (Aka Love) relationships. Confusion will come into play. However you will still feel an energy pull towards your twin flame and you will not know why. Also keep in mind that it may not be a physical attraction either but rather a spiritual attraction. You will want to stay in contact with your twin flame. You then will acquire an attraction. Once you establish the attraction and see that everything just feels “Right”, things will excel pretty quick. It will happen and everything will just fall into place. It will feel right.

If you have past relationship issues you must work on these issues as you might pro-long the reunion of your twin flame. Although you will stay in communication or might shy away your twin flame, you will have the soul connection and they will stay around or linger in your life. The connection will come at one point, but you MUST heal all past love emotions as you do not want to exhaust your twin flame and defeat the purpose of what you agreed to learn or simply exhaust one more than the other.

Twin flames are rare, but are coming together more in this era than prior.

Experiencing a love this great is one so beautiful and powerful that the experience is intense and worth living.

~Twin Flames are more intense than a Soul mate reunion~

May the flames keep living and lighting the way!

Love is like the air we breathe, its soft, soothing and full of life.

Love is like a child, it is jumped into with full of trust.

Love is like roses, it feels so right and beautiful.

Love is like an animal, it will fight until it is defended.

Love is like a pillow, so comforting that you just let yourself go.

Love is something that needs to be nourished, guarded, free, everlasting, and it holds only trust and everlasting commitment.

Love is all we desire, it is our drug.

We need to trust and become one with love.

Love yourself then everyone around you. You are the core of love!

Kamitra decided to hang out with some friends. Her friends and her were joking and laughing. They were having a great time.

Friends inviting other friends to join the party. Kamitra met Sean. She and Sean hit it off. They had a lot in common.

Kamitra is a girl that every man would dream to have. She is smart, sexy, intelligent and very caring. She had a void in her heart. She was married to someone that never valued who she was, the value of her soul. He never treated her how she needed to be treated. Although Kamitra felt she loved her husband, she knew that she was missing something. She new she was not ultimately happy.

Kamitra and Sean talked all through the night. They were drinking and laughing.

Sean leaned over and kissed Kamitra. Kamitra felt his soft lips rub against hers. She liked the fact that he kissed her, but she also felt confused. Confused to feel that she liked a kiss that was not of what she was used too. Feeling buzzed over the alcohol, she let her emotions flow and block out the thoughts going through her head.

She was in a strange atmosphere, a strange bed. With no cares in her momentary fantasy world, she did not stop her actions.

Sean and Kamitra kissed and laid on the bed together. Sean started to caress Kamitra. They played the game of “Pretend Love”. Loving one another as if they have known each other for years. Loving each other as if they were in love with one another. They played this feeling in the present. Kamitra became free at that moment, living only at the moment. .

Kamitra, feeling Sean’s strong arms, feeling him hug and caress her.  Feeling his warm strong body next to her’s, she let him love her. She let him let loose all over her. She let him do everything he wanted to do. She laid over his toned and hard body.

After Sean and Kamitra played “Pretend Love”, he fell asleep in her arms. As she was in more of a sober state, she felt the void in her heart. Tears started to roll down her eyes. She could not believe what just happened. She let her emotions run wild. Her emotions on a roller coaster ride, she felt confused. She felt confused more than ever. Confused because she did not know what her future would be. She realized at that moment that she had no remorse of her actions. She was proud of herself for doing what she just did. She realized at that moment that she had no love for her husband. Thinking about all he says and does to her, she felt that she was released from him. She didn’t understand the feelings she was experiencing. She just knew that from this moment on, she was released from herself and became stronger.

She felt the seduction of the moment, the sweat of the aftermath, and the release of her confusion. Her heart disconnected from that moment onto something that was unknown but felt right. It was a venture of infidelity.

The moon glistened through the bedroom window. As she glazed at the moon, tears continued to fall. She realized that she could not go on with this Void, this unhappiness, this path of death.

Kamitra realized that this was not the first time she was unfaithful. She became unfaithful the day her soul disconnected from her husband, the discontentment and boredom of what they had. She then started a path of death that lead into everlasting unhappiness.

Love can be empty. Love can convert anyone into a rock and a heartless soul.

We all need to nourish what we have before we feel what Kamitra felt. We need to expand love and never limit.

Empty love is a horrible feeling.

We need to know how to handle, Love and care for what we have, unless you want to let it all slip away from your fingertips..

Keep filling the love before it empties out and its too late!

I will not love you as long as you live, HOWEVER  I will love you as long as I live!!

As I play Hide and seek in the dark with the kids at home. I started to think and wonder where you would hide.

Do you like to be “it” first or do you want to hide ?

I am sure that you would pick all the great hiding places. I am sure that you would know where to hide that no one would find you. You would be the one that would be the last to be found and you would be found because you would jump out and scare whomever would come to find you. You would giggle and say “See, You guys could not find me.. I am good”.. I would look at you and love you even more. The kids would think you are the funniest daddy ever. You would bring smiles to our faces..

I can see us picking a hiding place together.. Giggling waiting for the children to find us, we whisper asking eachother if we see them. I can feel your hands touching and doing naughty things

I can see us having so much fun with the kids. It would be so much fun..

These are times that I find myself wanting you more..

This morning, I woke up from having a nightmare. One that I never want to have again. It was the worse dream any mother could ever experience. One that is every mothers nightmare. I was in shock when I woke up. I was devastated in my dream.

I faced one of my worse fears in my dreams. One that I thought I had come to peace with. One that I need to close in this lifetime. One that I need to come with ammends with. One that I have been avoiding the entire time in my life. One that I thought I would never have to face anymore.

I have come face to face with my hidden truths in my dreams. It hurts so badly that I am not sure how to overcome this fear, nonetheless a long hidden past I once had. One I thought was over, one I thought would never haunt me.

When I woke, I had 3 children in my bed. They crawled in after being frightened of the loud wind outside. I realized that the Angels in my bed are the most powerful beings in my life. they are what I live for. They are my all, my life. The only person that was missing was you. The one, I could get a hug from when I am upset from a nightmare. The one that could kiss me on my forehead and assure me that it was only a dream and you would never let anything happen to my Angels.

I realized how much I really miss you when I was looking for the affection of you. The assurance of everything being OK, was nowhere to be found.

I need you..

I truley MISS YOU!